One Support System I've Tried

The System

A friend of mine was having some trouble and we got together to discuss a system to help her keep up with the activities she was interested in. I thought I would post them here in case someone wanted to design their own system along these lines.

At the time my friend was having trouble staying away from her on-line role-playing game (non-scene) long enough to pay proper attention to her dog, get enough exercise, clean, or socialize – all activities that actively fight depression. Other times she was sleeping too much rather than doing what she should, and on top of that she wanted to be focusing on her writing, which she was not. Initially we discussed some savings and money management issues but she felt she had that pretty well under control. After discussing her goals and challenges with her, I proposed the following standards.

The standards work on a points system.


Standards:

Activity with your dog – once per day for at least 20 minutes. The first miss is -1 point.

“Raw” Writing – at least four separate days per week for at least 1 hour at a time; at least twice between Monday and Thursday Editing, revising, researching, etc. is extra. The first missed session is -1 point. No credit for partial hours.

Exercise: 5 standard (20-30 min) workouts per week; at least three during M-Th. -1 point for the first missed workout.

Cleaning, including laundry – at least 8 hours per week (she said she needed this many to catch up), at least 5 done before any gaming on Saturday or Sunday. The first hour missed is -1 point.

Socializing – attend 1 regular event with other people per month; get together with friends (other than me) at least three times per month. Each week that an event is missed is -2 points.

Punctuality: on-time. The first time you’re late is -1 point per twenty minutes late or fraction thereof. Driving aggressively because you’re late is -2 points for the first instance.

Gaming – no more than 3 hours per weeknight, 12 hours total M-F, 4 hours per weekend day; 8 hours total Sat-Sunday. Total allowance is less one hour per point from the previous week. The first over-playing incident is -0.5 points per hour or fraction thereof.

Sleeping: no more than 10 hours per day and 63 hours per week spent in bed. First incident is -0.5 points per hour or fraction thereof.


Multiple Instances - the penalties listed are for the first instance in each category each week. A second instance in the same category and week carries 2X the penalty; a third instance 3X, etc.


Allowance – you have an allowance of five points per week – there will be no penalty for the first five points.


“Offset” points – you can earn offset points to reduce your penalty. One full hour spent with the dog, writing, or cleaning will offset one gaming session of up to two hours. One additional workout will offset one session of up to 1 hour of gaming time. No credit for partial hours with the dog, writing, or cleaning. No credit for extra socializing time.


Gaming Budget Reductions – The initial gaming budget is as high as 20 hours per week, if used properly. However, every point earned in the current week reduces the next week’s total gaming time by 1 hour.


Classes can count as one social activity per month. Class standards: every assignment must be completed, turned in, and graded B or higher. (-1 point per letter grade below B, missed assignments scored as “F”). Every class must be attended (-1 point per hour for first class missed). Final course grade must be an A (her standard) (-1 point per letter grade below A per week of the course)


The Other Half

As far as the consequences behind all of these rules, here's what I told her:


Now that we’ve set up the standards that you're expected to meet I’ll describe the other half of the system, where we deal with cases of you exceeding your points allowance.

We will get together every two weeks but only address your behavior vs. expectations once per month, leaving every second get-together to do what we want.

We’ll run a Saturday-to-Friday review to accommodate weekend meetings. For two weeks after the review you will still need to track your behavior but I do not expect you to exceed your allowance – if you do we may need to change the system. It’s during the second two weeks of the four week cycle when you may have problems. Even then you should be able to keep under the allowance if you only miss one event in each of several categories.

If you’re not over your allowance for either week, you can choose to be spanked or not – whichever you think will do you the most good.

I expect most weeks to be zero, one, or two points over, especially if the discipline is effective. I will be glad, rather than disappointed, if you meet expectations every time – it will mean your life is in good shape, not that the expectations are too low. For the weeks when you exceed your allowance, however, you’ll have to be spanked and then punished.

Since you like spanking – at least to some extent – you have to get your fill of that first before anything could be applied that would serve as a deterrent. This will consist of a thorough spanking applied with some of the more tolerable implements – hand and leather-backed tools, mostly. We may find that we have to apply one, wait for your desire to rise again, and apply a second one – and so on until you’ve had your fill. Then you’ll be ready to be disciplined.

In this way the penalty for each point can be significant and can serve as a true motivation when you are considering meeting your standards or letting something slide.

I have an offset billet strap just for this purpose. It’s almost two inches wide and very heavy leather, 18 inches long when doubled. The tails end will be most effective, even though they are on top of one another, not side-by-side. I know just one tail would have more sting but the two together will be felt the longest.

Once you’re adequately prepared you’ll bend over to be punished for each point at ten strokes apiece. If you have excessive points in both weeks we will deal with the earlier week, give you a break, then account for the second week.

This sounds severe – it is and it is intended to be. One point per week, or two points in one week and none in the second, should be difficult but bearable; two points per week should be daunting.

My intention is that the punishment for each point over your allowance will be a significant deterrent and that you will choose to meet the standards, even at some inconvenience, rather than accepting falling even a point or two short – and that if you are falling short, you make a intentional, concerted effort to catch up or, at the very least, avoid even one additional point and the associated additional punishment.


The system has three strengths: clearly defined and achievable standards and consequences; a framework that fulfills any need for recreational spanking; and a strong disincentive to fall below the standards you have agreed to. In this way, I’m hoping that it will make it easy for you to have the structure you need and achieve what you want without the pressure of unreasonable expectations.