I had an interesting experience over the weekend (well, some recent weekend) in a very vanilla fashion. For what seems like all my life – at least back to junior high school, anyway – I've been the one in my relationships who made the plans and decisions and was expected to know and consider – in fact, honor - my partner's preferences. You might question whether I was the dominant party or they were just letting me do all the work, but that's really beside the point - I'm not accustomed to being on the submissive end of Total Power Exchange.
In any event, this particular weekend a friend invited me to Washington DC and I was anxious for a chance to see her. Since I'd never been, and the place is full of sights and all, my friend assumed that I was anxious to see the place – plus, no doubt, she wanted to show off her city where she's lived for 20+ years. So, despite the fact that she's a bottom, she immediately set off to make a schedule for us to best utilize our time in the Capital (I always say that the first thing a top needs to control is time).
I assured her repeatedly that I was coming to see her, against this backdrop of history, rather than the backdrop itself – and that whatever we did, together, would be fine with me. Since I myself have heard this response many times before - only to later hear of the many exceptions to "fine," I resolved to stick to it myself. She did check with me on a few of her suggestions and all of them were not only completely acceptable but very inviting. Really, though, I gave her very little help, expressing no food or drink preferences except for an absence of onions (which she honored) and wine, which she ignored. She chose the route, she chose the menu, she chose the schedule and itinerary and everything else.
I think I did a good job of being obedient. I didn't second-guess, I didn't criticize, I stuck (easily) to my position that anything we did together was a pleasurable undertaking. When things inevitably went wrong, I was supportive. I reassured her – probably ten or twenty times a day – that I would be happy to participate in whatever she suggested, with or without knowing what it would entail.
Odd as it may sound, this was a new or at least rare experience for me, having someone else willingly take responsibility for everything – and what a great and relaxing time I had! I'm afraid that my hostess didn't find my visit as relaxing but we did both have a really excellent time. I seldom, if ever, looked at my watch, never worried about the wait for the metro, or weighed alternatives for crossing downtown (well, the White House neighborhood) late on Saturday night. I was a little lucky in that, having committed myself to eating whatever she came up with for dinner, it turned out to be totally delicious and the only effort required was to stop. I didn't set the alarm in the morning and when it went off I didn't bother to find out what time it was; nor did I worry how much time we had to get in a good night's sleep.
I'm not saying that this is going to initiate any long-term changes, but it did definitely broaden my perspective a bit...
In any event, this particular weekend a friend invited me to Washington DC and I was anxious for a chance to see her. Since I'd never been, and the place is full of sights and all, my friend assumed that I was anxious to see the place – plus, no doubt, she wanted to show off her city where she's lived for 20+ years. So, despite the fact that she's a bottom, she immediately set off to make a schedule for us to best utilize our time in the Capital (I always say that the first thing a top needs to control is time).
I assured her repeatedly that I was coming to see her, against this backdrop of history, rather than the backdrop itself – and that whatever we did, together, would be fine with me. Since I myself have heard this response many times before - only to later hear of the many exceptions to "fine," I resolved to stick to it myself. She did check with me on a few of her suggestions and all of them were not only completely acceptable but very inviting. Really, though, I gave her very little help, expressing no food or drink preferences except for an absence of onions (which she honored) and wine, which she ignored. She chose the route, she chose the menu, she chose the schedule and itinerary and everything else.
I think I did a good job of being obedient. I didn't second-guess, I didn't criticize, I stuck (easily) to my position that anything we did together was a pleasurable undertaking. When things inevitably went wrong, I was supportive. I reassured her – probably ten or twenty times a day – that I would be happy to participate in whatever she suggested, with or without knowing what it would entail.
Odd as it may sound, this was a new or at least rare experience for me, having someone else willingly take responsibility for everything – and what a great and relaxing time I had! I'm afraid that my hostess didn't find my visit as relaxing but we did both have a really excellent time. I seldom, if ever, looked at my watch, never worried about the wait for the metro, or weighed alternatives for crossing downtown (well, the White House neighborhood) late on Saturday night. I was a little lucky in that, having committed myself to eating whatever she came up with for dinner, it turned out to be totally delicious and the only effort required was to stop. I didn't set the alarm in the morning and when it went off I didn't bother to find out what time it was; nor did I worry how much time we had to get in a good night's sleep.
I'm not saying that this is going to initiate any long-term changes, but it did definitely broaden my perspective a bit...
